Alternate Nursery Rhymes

I'm a little teapot
short and stout
heres my handle
heres my.........
........ Dammit! I'm a sugar bowl!

Mary had a little lamb
she tied it to a pylon
10000 volts shot through it
and turned its wool to nylon

Mary had a little lamb

Her case comes up next week...

Mary had a little Lamb,
Her father shot it dead,
She still takes the lamb to school
Between two bits of bread.

Mary had a little Lamb,
You've heard that tale before,
But have you heard she passed her plate
And had a little more.

Mary had an little lamb
It danced in skips and hops,
It danced into the road one day
And ended up as chops

Jack be nimble, Jack be quick
Jack jumped over the candlestick
Poor little Jack, should have jumped higher
Goodness Gracious Great Balls of Fire

Hey diddle diddle the cat and the fiddle
The cow blew up on the launchpad

Hickory Dickory Dock,
Three Mice Ran Up The Clock,
The Clock Struck One,
The Other Two Got Away With Minor Injuries.