The Last Supper

Seeing as this was our last weekend in merry o’l England, Natalie and I decided that we would go all out on Saturday; no holds barred, postage returned style. The day started off with me sleeping late. Now this may not seem like much, but if anything, my stay here in England has rested me out completely. These days, I rarely sleep past the crack of dawn, which in England is between 03:30 and 04:00. So when I found myself waking at 08:00, I knew the day was off to a good start.

I spent the morning quietly; eating, reading and doing the last of my grocery shopping. I also bought myself a four dvd set from Eddie Izzard. Eddie Izzard is a brilliant comedian. His turn of wit and outlook on life and its hazards has had me laughing so hard that I still have sore stomach muscles. So it seemed only right that I buy his dvds, instead of pirating them as per usual. As I said, I also went grocery shopping, where I made the first mistake of the day. Note to self, do not ever go shopping on a empty stomach, especially in price crazy England. Among other things, I bought myself a bowl of raspberry trifle.

When I got back home, I made myself some coffee and ate the whole bowl of trifle. I admit, that was a mistake; I should have known better. I should have remembered what happens when I ingest copious amounts of sugar, especially on an empty stomach. What followed was one of the most intense sugar rushes ever. Fortunately I recognized the warning signs when my hands started shaking, so I decided to run it off. And run I did; and run, and run and run. Basically I tried to see how many times I could run around Wimbledon park before collapsing. The answer as it turns out is six, double the number of laps I can usually manage. Finally, 2 hours 19 minutes and 2 seconds later, I arrived back at the flat, totally knackered. But I still managed to climb the six flights of stairs to our flat, so put that in your pipe and smoke it.

Unfortunately, I did not have much time to rest. The day was getting along and it was time to put into motion the next part of our master plan. Namely buying booze and peroxide. Back home, I did not have long to wait for Natalie to get home from work. As she stepped past the door, I handed her a double vodka and lemonade, and the bottle of peroxide; time to get down to business. Earlier in the day I had shaved ALL of the hair on my head to the same length, namely 6 mm. Now, for those of you who do not know Natalie, she is quite artistically inclined, so when I handed her the peroxide, I gave her free reign to express her creativity on/with my hair. In the end, we did not do all that much, but I have to admit, the results have been quite pleasing.

At about 19:00, Charles got home and it was time to get the party started in earnest. While every one was getting ready for our night out, we got out the karaoke equipment, and for the next hour we sang lustily to songs such as the Rolling Stone’s Paint it Black, Blur’s Song 2 and Hole’s Celebrity Skin. Then it was off to Piccadilly Circus and the clubs there.

After sitting down in the club, we all ordered another round of drinks. And seeing no reason to change the way things were going, I ordered another double vodka and lemonade. Mistake number three. The price tag attached to that little drink was £8. Which was enough of a shock to nearly make me sober again; nearly. After finishing our drinks, it was time to dance. What followed was … agh, after two days I still cannot find the words to describe what I experienced. The best I can do is describe the events leading up to the event and have you decide for yourself.

During the last six weeks, I have lost nearly a tenth of my body weight, which had two effects. After four double vodkas, I was more than a little drunk. Also, with each passing year, one tends to gain a bit of weight each winter in the form of those nigly little fat deposits that never seem to go away. But during the last couple of weeks, those fat deposits have been scoured off of my body and consequently I now have the upper body definition that I have always dreamed about. So it was with more than a little boldness that I stepped onto that dance floor. As I stepped onto the dance floor, I could feel the music vibrating in every fibre of my body. And as I looked around, I noticed the boldness with which people on the dance floor were checking me out. That was when I decided, that for once in my life, I was going … to … let … go. So I closed my eyes and let the music subsume me. It is hard to describe what happened during the course of the next three hours. It felt as if the persona that is me was replaced by something more, something less, something basic and primal; something that knew no boundaries like race, creed, nationality or sexuality. As I danced in my own little world, I just was.

But, sooner or later, the postage gets returned. After being on my feet for 16 hours, I was starting to get tired. Since Charles had already left for home and Martina had met another black guy, it was only Natalie and I that got on the tube home. Of course, after we got home we had the after party munchies, so we ordered Daisies. With the last of our strength we ate and then went to bed for some much needed rest.

And so ends this post.